Over the last eight years, President Obama’s March Madness bracket reveal became an exciting annual tradition that quickly outranked the yearly turkey pardon, but still fell below his annual promise to close Guantanamo.
Donald Trump, on the other hand, is turning down the ESPN-Oval Office partnership that took root during his predecessor’s time in office. According to a Washington Post report, the White House won’t fill out a Presidential NCAA tournament bracket.
White House spokeswoman Hope Hicks emailed this statement to the Post: “We look forward to working with ESPN on another opportunity in the near future.”
Honestly? nbd President Trump. Forget what Charles Barkley says, you get a pass on this. The American people could care less how your tournament bracket would shape out right now, and we’re gonna give you the benefit of the doubt here and say you turned ESPN down to focus on pressing matters of the state. One would also hope that Trump doesn’t pay too much attention to college basketball, given he’s got a government-not-government to run.
That’s too logical, though. Right? That’s not the Trump I know! The Trump I know would relish at the national ESPN audience. He wouldn’t be afraid of walking into that shoot opposite Andy Katz and spew whatever horseshit that came to mind about each team in the tournament despite seeing their name for the first time.
“North Carolina. I like them. Great, terrific team. Great, terrific state. We won there. By huge, big margins. They’re the best. Guaranteed.”
“No. 3 UCLA will get crushed. Crushed! By No. 14 Kent State. One’s from California, the other is Ohio. Ohio is beautiful. They love me there and we won there by billions. Kent State is the best team in the nation, could be the world. I don’t know, we’ll see. But they’re the best.”
But the Trump I know is also deeply afraid of “losing,” and there’s nothing quite as deflating as looking at your bracket after round one only to find you whiffed on 50% of the action. His bracket would be fodder for public humiliation 101 on Twitter, no doubt.
Katz, one of ESPN’s most famous college basketball analysts, started the tradition with Obama because it made sense. 41 was a huge basketball fan. Trump, though? Trump likes sports, but in a Daddy Warbucks type of way, not a “wow-I’m-energized-by-the-spirit-of-our-collegiate-athletes!” kind of way.
I guess a Trump bracket would have been great entertainment, but for everyone’s sake, it’s really okay he didn’t.